Skip to content

I feel men don’t love me – they always choose my close friends over me

This has happened with every man I’ve liked in the past decade. It’s disheartening and I’m starting to resent my friends.


I was secretly in love with a friend for more than a year. When I confessed my feelings, he said he felt the same way but that it was bad timing – he had recently got out of a relationship.

However, a month later he said he couldn’t see us progressing romantically. I recently found out that, around that time, he began seeing one of my best friends. She’s a lovely person, and a model, so it didn’t surprise me.

The problem is that every man I’ve liked in the past decade has chosen one of my close friends over me. It is incredibly disheartening and I feel utterly unlovable.

Worse still, I am starting to resent my friends. What can I do to stop feeling so bitter?

 When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

 If you would like fellow readers to respond to a problem of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from readers on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

 All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email:

Post a comment

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: