Private lives: I don’t have sex live with my boyfriend because we live with his mother.

He is kind, funny, from a well-off background, and his mum charges me minimal rent. I don’t think I’ll find anyone better, but feel I’m living like a pensioner.

My husband told me a woman kissed him, should I forgive him?
File photo: Unity Gym

I am 26 and at a top university. I live at my boyfriend’s mum’s house for minimal rent, but feelas if I am living as a pensioner. Our sex life is non-existent: we have tried weekends away, but still rarely have sex.

When we do, it is unsatisfying and awkward. I’ve lost weight and socialise more, and feel more like my old self. I avoid his advances and fantasise about my friend. My boyfriend is kind, funny and popular – our relationship seems perfect.

He comes from a well-off, middle-class background (I do not) and I feel I won’t find anyone better. I feel trapped – he loves me and would be devastated if I left.


• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a problem of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from readers on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private@bloomgist.com.

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